Five ways to help yourself, when life gets tough.

Aug 24, 2022

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”

Do you agree? 

I saw this pop up on my newsfeed this week and it really struck a chord with me.

I think sometimes, we can be fooled into believing that “everyone” is living an incredible, happy life and that we are at times left behind, waiting for it to happen to us.

The reality is, most of us have good times. Moments that fill us up with love, awe and great happiness.

And, on the flip side, most of us all have times that are tough. Times where we feel sadness, frustration or a disconnect.

Whenever I speak about happiness, I always stress that living happily and fulfilled isn’t about feeling excitedly happy 24/7. True inner happiness is about how we manage our lives, especially when they get tough. It’s about understanding and accepting that life does have twists and turns and that this is okay. It’s about focussing on the small pockets of joy we experience, when we are in our darkest of moments.

When I go through difficult times I find the following five things support me to move through it as best I can:

- Sleep. For me, allowing myself more time to sleep really helps. I make an effort to go to bed earlier and when I can, sleep for a bit longer. Sleep helps me to escape and helps build my energy and resilience levels too.

- Walking or sitting outside. I can’t deny the thought of this one can sometimes seem a lot, yet I always feel so much better for getting a change of scenery. I often find if I can find an initial purpose to get me out (e.g. popping to the post office or corner shop) then I keep going and really feel the benefits.

- Confiding in 1 or 2 good friends or family members. For me personally, I don’t like to tell too many people when I am going through something, however confiding in someone is really important. I confided in a close friend recently and her care and kindness has been a real support to me.

- Being in the moment. Consciously not trying to fix the past or plan the future. Accepting that at the moment all I can do is take each moment as it comes. When I remind myself of this, it really feels like a huge weight has been lifted and it help’s me to really ground myself.

- Reading before bed. I love to read at the best of times (fact, fiction, self-improvement…I love it all) and that doesn’t change when I am not feeling my best. I use the time to get curled up and immerse myself into something different. I would suggest reading (or listening to audios if that’s more your thing) whatever you most connect to at this particular time. For me, my go to in these moments are easy to digest fiction novel’s because I am looking for a bit of light relief when everything around me is feeling heavy.

All of the above help me to deal with life when it get’s hard. And they all give me happiness, stability and hope. I really do believe that living happily and fulfilled is about how we work through our life, the small things we do that help ourselves.

I have only touched on a few ways that help me personally deal with life when it gets tough, I would love to know what helps you?